For the Obviously Beautiful

Dear Woman/Child –

I don’t have any children. I didn’t want them when (according to my mother) it would have been as easy as to accomplish as sitting on a toilet seat. When I finally changed my mind, nature, that grand cheat, wouldn’t let me have my way. It’s difficult to realize that sometimes, even when you wish upon a star, the universe answers, “No.” Even so, you know that I take delight in my joyful life, that I have, somehow, found everything I need, and that happiness reigns.

In your brand shiny new blog you said that you think of me as a second mother. Your words made me cry because nothing would make me as proud. You said you’d like to have a life like mine. Be careful what you wish for – those stars are tricky, and sometimes the answer is, “Yes.”

You’re right – my life so far has been full of twists and turns. I’ve been incredibly self-indulgent, sometimes forging ahead even when the little voice that whispers softly in my heart tells me to slow down and be careful. At times I knew full well that I would crash and burn, but stubbornly forged ahead anyway, bumping and bruising myself along the way. I even had the impudence to feel surprised when I nearly burned up in the fires of my own making. But failure isn’t in the falling down. Failure is when you don’t find the courage to stand up again – even if it’s very, very hard. Success isn’t always getting your way, but rather it is your search for wisdom and joy.

Be proud of yourself. Examine your heart and find what you believe in. Fight for your core values – even if it sometimes makes you uncomfortable or unpopular. Stand up for what you think is right and just, and always remember that there are those who need your voice because they don’t know how to speak for themselves.

Remember not to demand perfection of yourself, but exertion. Don’t expect victory every time, but expect to struggle. And remember that the definition of a good person is not he who has never erred, but he who is not so arrogant as to believe himself to be any better than any other of the world’s beloved children.

Live your life with pride and with exuberance so that, in your dotage, you don’t look back at your time on this earth and wonder what you missed. Don’t question what you might have been, but rather celebrate who you are. Be open to joy. Love back. Live so that, when you are gone, the memory of your happiness delightfully remains in the hearts of those you leave behind.

Maybe the universe isn’t such a grand cheat after all. I got my way in you, and love you like my own. So happy graduation, my darling. Go out and fulfill your sparkling promise and your potential for great joy.

You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need. (Thanks, Mick and Keith.)